Maul of America

Separated At Birth?

Is it sexist of me to notice that Ann Coulter is starting to look more and more like Billy Jack's love interest?

And the Winner Is...

Academy Awards ran way too long (as usual). While I'm not a Seth MacFarlane fan, my guess is that today Captain Kirk regrets his decision to go back in time and saving the Oscar host, but letting Edith Keeler die. 

Furthermore, except for Shirley Bassey, the Bond "tribute" was a huge bust.

At the end, Jack Nicholson was supposed to rise gallantly to his feet and lift Ben Arthur's body in his arms. But, Seth MacFarlane's musical routines ran over. That said, Ben Affleck is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life.

Measure Once, Shred Twice

"Cash for Clunkers didn't work? Wow, I didn't see that coming, " said no one.

From The Environmental Magazine:

"Many of the cars that were traded in during Cash for Clunkers were perfectly functioning cars in good condition, and excellent candidates to have their engines and other parts recycled. With the engine destroyed, many clunkers bypassed the recycling companies and went straight to junkyards to be crushed and shredded. The ARA issued a report when the CARS program was announced saying that a much more efficient program would have been to encourage recycled parts usage. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration explained at the time that the engines must be destroyed to prevent the vehicles from being resold and taking the road again. For any dealer that did not follow that law, there was a hefty $15,000 fine per infraction against them."

Disarming

Steven Spielberg to oversee digital "enhancements" in 30th Anniversary Blu-ray release of A CHRISTMAS STORY.

Why So Serious?

My VP debate scorecard: On paper, both men presented a strong version of THEIR respective realities. So, a tie on substance (mileage will vary based on your politics at the outset).

However, on style I give it to Paul Ryan hands down. Some told me they found his smile smug. But Joe Biden's wide grin throughout most of the proceedings was kinda creepy.

The Other White Meat

Today, Marc Lamont Hill wrote "The 15 Most Overrated White People" in order "to honor the true spirit of Columbus Day" by creating his own "list of overrated white people. Of course, this list is not exhaustive, as there are countless other White people who are equally underwhelming."

While I disagree with Dr. Hill on most things, he's a generally interesting and entertaining individual (this article notwithstanding). 

So, to help a brother out, here is MY better list of 15 OVERRATED White People:

1. Keith Olbermann
   As unwatchable as he is unwatched.
   
   
2. Zack Galifianakis
   The person Ira Levin had in mind when he wrote the character of the husband in "Rosemary's Baby."
   
   
3. Charlie Chaplin
   He seemed to need the audience to love him in EVERY movie he made.
   
   
4. Bruce Springsteen
   I get it, I get it. Bruce is a pissed off blue-collar worker.
   
   
5. Gary Cooper
   As an actor, he was a mediocrity NOT a minimalist.
   
   
6. Wayne Gretzky
   How would Gretzky have done if he played in a world where the entire National Hockey League didn't conspire to NOT hit him?  I'll answer that: not as well.
   
   
7. Greta Garbo
   To me, the mystery of Garbo was why anyone cared.
   
   
8. Howard Stern
   By doing American Idol, he's become the type of celebrity he used to mock.
   
   
9. Mel Brooks
   Mel's a funny guy.  But AFI award material, really?
   
   
10. Conan O'Brien
    A little of "Team Coco" goes a LOOOOONG way.
    
    
11. Julia Roberts
    She's got that crazy laugh, zzzzz.
    
    
12. Lenny Bruce
    A true icon for free speech. But, I defy anyone to get through one of his old albums. Dustin Hoffman was funnier pretending to be Lenny Bruce.
    
    
13. Everyone Involved With M.A.S.H. The TV Show
    War is hell. Yes, we know.
    
    
14. Lucille Ball
    Okay, there's the chocolate factory scene, the "Vitameatavegamin" speech, and that's about it.
    
    
15. Mike Myers
    The "Mike" Myers who slaughters people while wearing a white William Shatner mask is just as funnny.

Denial: A River In Egypt

The 25% of people polled who felt Mitt Romney lost last night were holding the phone's mouthpiece to their ear saying: "Hello...Hello... Hello."

Lady Parts?

I took this screen shot myself MAINLY to prove that, as of 8:45PM ET today, the president's official Twitter account, @BarackObama, was following "I Like Tits Daily" (@ILikeTitsDaily).

My guess is that a campaign staffer who tweets for the president got their account IDs mixed up.

NOTE: I blurred one of the images on the left.

An Inconvenient Truth

A Heritage Foundation article reports on the source of funding for Matt Damon's latest anti-anything-American film which, this time, condems the oil industry. 

"Matt Damon's 'Promised Land' Condemns Fracking, Funded by Arab Royalty
A new film starring Matt Damon presents American oil and natural gas producers as money-grubbing villains purportedly poisoning rural American towns. It is therefore of particular note that it is financed in part by the royal family of the oil-rich United Arab Emirates."

It's sorta like the American Dental Association funding a movie showing the horrors of fluoridated water.

Adding insult to inury, according to Phelim McAleer of The New York Post, the film's script had to be altered after some inconvenient facts got in the way (bold added): 

"...'Promised Land' was about fracking and now I can reveal that the script’s seen some very hasty rewriting because of real-world evidence that anti-fracking activists may be the true villains.

In courtroom after courtroom, it has been proved that anti-fracking activists have been guilty of fraud or misrepresentation.

...So, according to sources close to the movie, they’ve come up with a solution — suggest that anti-fracking fraudsters are really secret agents employed by the fossil-fuel industry to discredit the environmental movement.

In the revised script, Damon exposes Krasinski as a fraud — only to realize that Krasinski’s character is working deep undercover for the oil industry to smear fracking opponents."

Plane to See

To anyone with half a brain, Mitt Romney's remark about plane windows not opening is CLEARLY a joke. As much as I disagree with her, I've always thought Rachel Maddow was a smart person. But, for her to affect a bemused expression and then go on and on (and on) about Romney's comment as if he truly meant it makes me wonder.

And, FWIW, Goldfinger airplane references hit Twitter HOURS before Maddow's report. So, she's unoriginal too.